Past the smile

-
Look past the smile
Look into my eyes.
Do I look like the kind
of kind man who likes
to make balloons and faces
so children can smile?
See farther, beyond that face,
beyond the colors and the paint.
Do I look like the kind
of person who, in spare time,
would take the effort to
do something remotely nice?
But I do.
I laugh, I joke, I prance about.
Trying ever so hard for a laugh.
Failing, but never falling,
never stopping, never surrendering,
never listening to the crowd.
For, once upon a time,
a different kind of smile
graced another face, quite like mine.
And the screams that followed
were of a different kind.
Now I pay the price,
I pay them all back.
A smile for a tear,
a laugh for a life.
A tyrant for a clown.
A fair exchange.
Look into my eyes,
look past my artificial smile,
and tell me truly.
Do you want to see
what I look like,
behind the paint?

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